My uncle read words that hit home with me...absolute inclusivity. As in, Jesus practiced "absolute inclusivity" - He never judged, never left anyone out, loved everyone equally...even in His final hours on the cross when one of the others sentenced to death asked to be remembered when He entered heaven "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise" (Luke 23:43). Jesus didn't know this man, this sinner, yet He welcomed him at His table with His (yours, mine, our) Father. I am always struck by His ability to have such kind words for a stranger while experiencing so much pain. Yet, it gives me hope to think that if He was able to give that much to a stranger hanging on a cross, maybe He is holding a place for me.
Last night was emotional for me...I tried to keep it together, but found myself holding back tears on more than one occasion. After the service was over, I sat in her seat in the choir loft and then Colin and I sat at the huge pipe organ, making huge sounds come out of the beautiful old instrument that has always been a symbol of church to me. I felt empty in some ways...was missing people who I wished so much had been next to me. I don't think I will ever understand how you can have people on either side of you and still feel lonely...or, rather, alone. I'm trying hard to trust His plan...to give myself over to whatever it is He has for me instead of forcing my wants, my thoughts, my idea of a plan.