This life
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""We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect."
- Anais nin

​close to perfect.  sometimes messy.  almost always complicated.  blessed.  a little unfocused.  always searching.  constantly hoping.  mine.

Enough Already.

7/17/2016

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Enough.  After each attack – here, or abroad, it really doesn’t matter anymore because lives are lives and whether lost on American soil or not they are still lives taken without cause, without permission, without any chance of justice – I find myself saying that single word.  Enough.  I’m gonna be real blunt, and I honestly do not care who I offend at this point so if any of what I say going forward bothers you, well…kiss my ass and move on because I’m sick and tired of being politically correct while innocent people die. 
 
A life is a life.  I honestly do not give a shit if you are black, white, Muslim, Christian, gay, straight, man, woman or child.  A life is a life.  Got it?  Last time I checked the time of death for any of us belongs to God – not some asshole with an agenda who thinks he has the right to choose who lives or dies by his own moral compass.  Yes, I know martyrs have existed long before any of this nonsense and I’m well aware innocent lives are lost every day without any acknowledgement or global news coverage.  I also know that this isn’t the start of social injustice, or the beginning of something new but the way it’s being carried out is and the rate at which these attacks are coming is increasing and I fear the reality we are being faced with.
 
As I sit on my patio tonight I think of the lives lost not only today, but over the past several months.  People like you and me, simply going about their lives, with zero thought that their time was up.  What I can’t fathom is how anyone can care so little for human life, yet care so much about a cause that does absolutely nothing for them that they are willing to do the unthinkable.  Yes, I feel like I’m in a little bubble…like I’m sorta untouchable in this moment…but, you can guarantee all of those people did too.  What I’m trying desperately to do is to not live in fear because the anxiety I could feel if I allowed it would be paralyzing. 
 
Let me be clear.  I do not have the answer.  Man, I wish I did, but I don’t.  But, what I know is…enough is enough.  How do we take our world back?  How do we give our children something to live for?  How do we protect them and create a future for them that doesn’t involve all this chaos and loss?  I am not looking for a political debate.  If that’s what you want, look elsewhere.  Truth be told, I don’t think the answer lies with our politicians or our government…it lies with each of us.  I know many police officers – all good men and women, none of whom I would ever blame for taking a life unjustly.  And tonight, I fear for those officers whose one goal in life is to keep the rest of us safe, no matter what the cost.  Tonight I pray for their families…for the spouses and children who are hugging a bit tighter amidst the fear of every call, praying that every shift brings their loved one home safely.
 
I refuse to accept that this is it…that THIS is the world we live in and we have no control over what happens…that more and more people will die without cause.  I am really struggling with this, and want (like the rest of you) to make sense of it, but I honestly have no idea how.  How many more have to die? Where does it end?  Why aren’t we asking the hard questions? How do we stop these things before they happen?  Who can we turn to?  Again, I don’t know.  Many blame Washington.  Okay, sure, I’ll place a relative amount of responsibility there, but at this point, in this moment, how do we stop these rogue attackers?  They are here, among us, living and working beside us…today’s shooter was FROM KC!!!  Holy hell!  No, I don’t own a gun.  No, I’m not rushing out to buy one.  Do I condemn anyone who has one?  Definitely not.  What I fear most is our country truly falling apart…of everything we hold dear collapsing beneath us.  Is that an unfounded fear?  Perhaps.  But, what if?  What we are facing is man turning on man…human lives mattering little.  I’m so sick of hearing “black lives matter”!  ALL LIVES MATTER you dip shits!  You don’t stand up when a black child is killed in a rolling gun battle between two gangs, but you sure as hell come running when a black man is killed by the cops for not following directions.  Where is the sense or justice in that?  We have worked so hard to get away from racial separation, yet in the past few months we have taken every step forward and thrown them out the window replacing them with a version of 1965 that is worse than we could have ever imagined.  As long as we keep turning on ourselves, ISIS wins.  As long as we keep acting like selfish idiots, ISIS wins.  Is that what we want?  We have to stop the division.  If we want a United States of America, then we better start acting like it because we are crumbling rapidly.  We may be the most powerful country in the world, but that matters little if we become the sum of all that’s evil within our borders.  Step up, America.  Pull your big girl panties up and ask for more.  Enough already.  
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