3:45. A.M. Seems like a perfectly reasonable time to wake up...if YOU'RE A ROOSTER! After tossing and turning for an hour, with my thoughts racing, finally landing on this...my little blog...and the embarrassing neglect I've shown it the past four months. It's not that I've had nothing to say. More so that I've had too much to say which causes me to not be able to focus my thoughts well enough to actually get them down so I push them aside. But, the past few weeks, it's become more and more hard to ignore the words swirling round and round in my mind and this morning I'm fairly certain I was woke up so early with the overwhelming nagging feeling that I couldn't ignore this app (and what putting my thoughts down on it means) any longer. But, I left my computer at work last night so I'm stuck writing for the first time in four months on my PHONE. I'm gonna go ahead and liken that to a bad case of PMS with no chocolate anywhere within a three state radius...look, I thought about using "sexual frustration" instead, but...well, you get the point
At this point, I feel like it's been so long that I don't know where to start...like catching up with an old friend...you know, that rush you feel as you find yourself tripping all over yourself trying to share everything yet finding yourself holding back because you feel like most of it isn't really important or worth sharing? Yeah, I feel just like that.
So, a few things...I bought a house! Yep, my very own. I bought two with M's dad years ago, but neither of those experiences felt a thing like the pride I found myself filled with the day I signed my papers on July 17th. And, one minor freak out aside, I have loved every minute of these past seven weeks. Honestly, I never believed I would (translation: could) do this. Barring all self-doubt, I took a huge leap of faith and trusted God to lead us wherever He wanted us to be...and after the way it all turned out, I have no question He used this experience to remind me He's got me and that no matter how much time I spend "away" from Him, He's there.
Okay, what's next...hmmmm...I turned 38. I woke up in my little home the morning of my "late 30's" (whoever thought it was a good idea to use that term needs to be shot) and found myself at peace (for the most part) with where I am at this point in my life.
M started sixth grade. Middle school. Need I say more? Although, we live literally one block from her school so that not only reminds me of my childhood (we grew up a block from the elementary school/jr. high and across the street from the high school), but it's also super convenient. Time will tell how we fare this next phase...fingers crossed we both make it out alive.
Pause for coffee break...with this little home purchase, I have a two-car garage and found myself down there with my two living room end tables and a can of chalk paint last Saturday night (big night, I know)...I've never been one for projects and am NOT crafty, but I wanted them to look different (the verdict is still out as to whether we will be able to use the term "better") so I went for it. I put the coat of wax on them last night while a couple of missionaries and a neighbor stopped by...I digress...point being, I have nowhere to set my much-needed coffee cup this ridiculously early morning.
What else? See what I mean? I can go months with nothing to say yet find myself feeling like I have little to share out of my desire to not waste your time and, more so, my need to say something of value. What do you want to know? Is there a guy? Yes... He, and his support the past few months, mean the world to me. Work? I still serve the working poor of Clay County via Hillcrest Hope. There is no way to express the ways I'm impacted by the work I do and the people I meet. It is similar to parenting...challenging beyond belief, yet rewarding beyond measure. I have been changed by the things I've experienced there and pray daily that God uses me to be His hands, His words, His arms to the men, women and children who walk through my door.
The one thing I've been hit with (you know how that works...you think about something a little then you find yourself almost consumed with thoughts about whatever that is until you do something about it) is my desire to travel...to see the world...hell, at this point I just want to get back to the beach. It's true...the world is meant to be explored, enjoyed...and, we learn so much about life by traveling and seeing how other people live. I love the anticipation of a trip, and the feeling of coming home. So, I have to do something about that.
I have a multitude of opinions on things happening in the news...there have been so many things...sadly, most of which is less than good, and I've almost written about my thoughts on them, but then I think, what's the point? Who really cares how little I care about Caitlyn Jenner (but, while we're at it, no, I don't think she's a hero - at all. A hero gives something for someone else without asking for anything in return. There is no way to convince me that any part of what she has done falls into that category. Although, I'm happy she's living the life she wants, but that does not, by any stretch of the imagination, make her a hero.) or how offended I am that we waste so many precious resources talking about her rather than bringing to light things that really matter? Add to that my thoughts about the KSU marching band debacle or the Duggars fiasco...and don't even get me started on police brutality.
Here's the thing...I'm just gonna say it...trash comes in every color, every shape, size and nationality...and it's a shame we, as educated, civilized people, give it/them so much power by sensationalizing every stupid thing in the media. Be better, people. If you don't want others to believe the stereotypes, don't BE the stereotype.
Whew. Okay, that was a lot. I need more coffee and my pointer finger is tired (typing all of this with one finger is hard!) If I've offended you, don't come back. If you want the truth...well, as I see it so I guess that really makes it more of an opinion...come on back. I have more stories, more opinions and more...I would like to say "inspiration", but at this point I feel like that's a stretch. Really it's just rambling stories and my thoughts on whatever crosses my mind at any given time. For those of you who are here...thank you. Having words to share means nothing without someone to read them.