This has nothing to do with my job - not today anyway. What I'm fighting for now is much greater, much more personal and I'm done sitting by while I watch someone I love get sicker by the day because we would rather spend more time fighting about whose fault it is, or blaming politicians rather than find a real solution to the problem. Truth be told, I know there isn't an answer at this point - greed and money have rendered that impossible. I have had several increasingly difficult conversations with my sister - someone who was born with a major heart defect that is, as we speak, doing its damnedest to kill her and because she is one of those unnamed aforementioned people, she doesn't qualify for coverage - doesn't qualify for the life-saving coverage that would allow her to see her doctor and get the tests, procedures and medications she needs to survive. Last night, after another of these conversations, I laid in bed and cried...no, that's putting it mildly...I sobbed, that gut-wrenching, ugly cry that finds you shoving your face into your pillow so your sleeping child won't hear you...I cried for Sarah, cried for all of us who love her and feel like our hands are tied - such a horrific, suffocating feeling - and found myself not only sad, but increasingly angry. Angry at the unfairness of it all. Angry that we don't know where to start to get her the help she needs. Angry that I feel helpless and can't stand sitting by watching her fight through exhaustion to work a couple days a week just to provide something for her children. Angry that I honestly don't know what to do and, most of all, angry that there are people bitching about senseless bull shit when there are real problems (and people with real names, real lives) that need to be addressed and solved.
I don't ask for help very often - yes, I am prideful and for that I miss out on opportunities - but today I'm asking for help. I feel like there is strength in numbers - more minds, more hearts, more people must be able to do something. Someone must know how to navigate the system. I know I will never forgive myself if I sit back and wait for her to get sicker - something that is happening at a rapid rate these days - when I could have possibly done something, anything to help. No, we can't change the system in one day. No, we can't fight the giant insurance companies overnight. But, we can work to help the families who really need help, one person at a time. It's not just about money. It's about facing the issue. It's about working together to find answers and sharing information when we have it. We each have areas of expertise - use them! And then, reach out to those you know who need help and offer what you can. Unless you've found yourself here, you have no way of knowing how heartbreaking it is to watch someone you love fight just to live, only to know they must make desperate, awful choices because there is no viable option. Do what you can. Don't be blind to what is right in front of you. And stop wasting time on a political debate over something that can't be solved by politicians.