I read the words "trust the timing of your life" a long time ago...and unlike many things, they stuck. I've reflected on them, I've referred to them, I've written them, and I've learned to...trust them. Timing is everything. Truly. And tonight as I visited with a dear friend, that very concept was brought up. We rush and we hurry. We push and we pull. We ask for things we aren't ready for and we let go before we should. We force situations that aren't meant to be and we hold onto those we fear releasing. We manipulate time to work in our favor almost constantly. We beg for more of it, yet waste what we're given almost automatically. We take moments for granted assuming there will always be more. And then we curse fate, or God, or each other when the time runs out.
Every decision we make, every path we follow, every relationship we make happens in time. But, how often is it the RIGHT time? That's what I think about a lot. So much of what happens to us is out of our control. When we meet someone, or being in the right place at just the right moment...having the courage to not let a moment pass...saying what we mean when we need to say it...letting go when we should...and holding on when it seems like there's nothing left to hold onto. Reaching forward, blindly unaware of what comes next and taking a chance when you have little left to give. But mostly timing affects those we meet...those we build lives around and with. What if we hadn't met them at the moment we did? Where would we be? Would we have been more ready for what they had to offer? What if you hadn't talked to that stranger? What if you had said hello? There are so many what if's, so many things to look back on and wonder...so many moments that if you had done even one thing differently your life would be completely different. Think about that for a second.
For me, there are lots of those moments. And, I'd be lying if I didn't wonder from time to time about where a certain person is now, or what my life would look like had I made a different choice. But, this IS my life and I wouldn't change a thing about it. All those what if's mean nothing unless I allow them to, but what difference does it make? There are no take-backs, no do-overs. There's only the right here, the right now. This is where we are, this is what we get - no more, no less. Looking back won't make today or tomorrow any better. If anything, it will only make them worse. Show me one person who doesn't look back with even an ounce of longing for something or someone. We all do it. But, it's what we do with what we have right now that matters.
So, back to trusting the timing...doesn't that imply that we have to let go...that we can't micromanage every little thing? What do they say about unanswered prayers? You know. The frantic bargaining we do with God, often for something or someone we are grateful didn't work out in the long run. We beg Him to give us this one little thing, or let this one person love us, or to make us this or that...but so much of the time it comes back to being, or feeling, loved. We beg for it. From Him, from others, so much of the time (see what I did there?) when it's just not meant to be. And then, when it's right in front of our face, we think it's not right or we aren't ready, or a whole bunch of other junk. #neonsign It's funny. I haven't heard God for a while...a long time now really. And tonight I didn't hear him as much as felt him speaking to me through a few simple words. See, I believe God shows Himself to us through those He surrounds us with - that we feel His strength and compassion through the arms of those who comfort us. His physical presence is only felt if we let others in, giving them the chance to show us His love and grace. And then...allow Him, trust Him with the timing of our life.